6-Day Liberal Weather / News Forecast

Monday

Chance of rain 0%. Dry winds from the west at 200mph. Cracks in the earth will form and swallow your family.

Tuesday

Chance of rain 100%. The ocean will rise 500 feet, inundating everything on both coasts.

Wednesday

AlGore-effect at 100%: The weight of man-man industrial machinery will cause a wobble in the Earth's axis, causing wide-ranging environmental disaster.

Thursday

Chance of snow 100%. The Earth will freeze over completely as a result of a reverse global warming process caused by Mother Earth's attempt to correct the warming cycle. AlGore is still working on the calculations for this.

Friday

Gore-bots will spread out over the Earth in an attempt to rescue fellow, stranded Gore-bots who were previously enslaving human mechanics, the only humans allowed to live since they served a purpose for the Gore-bots. Weather is the same as Thursday.

Saturday

Beautiful, sunny skies, about 83 degrees, 5 mph wind from the east. No humans except for the "1/2 human, 1/2 machine" AlGore...are left on Earth. AlGore reasons that, with no humans on Earth, he and his army of Gore-bots can pollute 500% more than they currently are, due to the lack of human pollution, thus lowering emissions into the atmosphere but allowing AlGore to live a life of luxury. Paradise!!!

Sunday

Notice: AlGore has banned Sunday. He/it has declared a permanent 6-day week.